


Too Busy Trying to Fly Away (discontinued)

by orphan_account



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Background relationships exist, Bottom Hanzo Shimada, Bottom Jesse McCree, Dragon Hanzo Shimada, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Smut, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Genji Shimada is a Little Shit, Hanzo doesn't know how to deal with feelings, Hanzo has Anxiety, Internalized Homophobia, Is there a happy ending? The answer may shock you!, Jesse McCree & Genji Shimada Are Best Friends, M/M, Mutual Pining, Other, Post-Recall, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Strangers to Friends, Top Hanzo Shimada, Top Jesse McCree, What the hell is the overwatch timeline, a.k.a. they both switch, assume that everyone is back except for those in talon, because fight me, emily is actually going to be a thing here, hanzo has prosthetic legs, hanzo needs to be protected, jesse isn't taking any bullshit from anyone about hanzo, more tags as this goes along tbh, mostly headcanons, no one is especially happy, sombra thinks she's the shit but she's really not, widow isn't as brainwashed as they think, you can rip this headcanon out of my cold dead hands
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-10-22 21:29:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10705479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Things never seem to work out in Hanzo's favor, starting from his childhood all the way to his adult ways. A troubled past and uncertain future have always been his enemies, and even if things are starting to look up he can't seem shake the feeling that everything is one step from disaster. After a life on the run and the memories of what came to pass to get him in such a situation where assassins were constantly on his tail, Hanzo seeks the redemption his brother believes he deserves. It all ends up being a worse situation than he can hope for, with nobody trusting his intentions except for a man with a past he can't shake either. But everything always goes wrong - and he is just waiting for how this can, too.





	1. chapter one

**"Agents Jesse McCree, Jack Morrison, Lena Oxford, Hana Song and Genji Shimada, please report to the aircraft terminal,"**

The loud noise was obnoxious in the usual silence of the overwatch base, forcing a groan out of both himself and Hana who had been lying across both him and the couch, streaming who knows what. A silent murmur of an apology was directed towards her audience before she looked up at Jesse with a pointed look. She wasn't going anywhere - it was up to him to deal with this and try to make up a worthy excuse as to why she wasn't coming. It was fairly easy, given the fact that he had lied his way out of worse. But Angela was always too smart for her own good when it came to these things.

 **"Can't promise ya anything, darling, but I'll try. If it doesn't work I'll take kitchen duty for the week,"** she seemed content with the answer, shooting him a toothy grin before sliding off of his lap onto the floor, letting the man get up with a low groan to accompany the strain in his muscles. He might have overworked himself too much at the training range, but after last night's episode he hadn't been able to do much else - sleep had definetaly been out of the picture.

He knew exactly what this was about, having already received the news from Winston (though in reality he found out from Genji about a day earlier) about their new arrival. The infamous Hanzo Shimada, coming to join their ranks. It wasn't like Athena ever called for them to go anywhere else, and no missions were currently up on the roster. Today was the big day, though he couldn't bring himself to truly care that much. It was just another newcomer, much like the others who had decided to join after hearing of overwatch's recall.

Everyone else seemed to be less laid back then he was. As he left the living quarters and entered the hallway he spotted Jack hurrying ahead of him, tension seeming to radiate off of him in waves. Jesse didn't bother initiating conversation, not quite feeling it today. There were days when Jack was best left alone... for the past week it seemed to be _every_ day, and with their new recruit being an infamous murderer, assassin, and heir to a crime emporium he figured that small talk was the last thing that Morrison needed right now. He let the older man hurry away down the hall until he was out of sight, strolling lazily through the base and taking his time to get to the aircraft. Besides - he needed a good excuse as to why Hana wasn't showing up that _didn't_ involve video games and blatant disregard for orders. The things he did for that girl.

\---

It didn't take long for Jesse to make his way towards the group gathered, casting a charming grin towards the three already there. He noted two things instantly - the absence of exactly one Genji, and the sorry state that the only person he didn't know was in.

There was only one word that came to his mind when his gaze landed on the newcomer - broken. Dark bags were located underneath his eyes, hair sticking out of his bun and forming a messy halo around his sharp features; but it was the  _air_ around him that caused Jesse's throat to tighten, pity which he knew that the older man would definetaly not like forming in the pit of his stomach. He could almost taste the defeat and tiredness that radiated off of the other in waves, and it seemed that everyone else did as well for Angela shifted uncomfortably next to him and many of the others decided to glance away from Hanzo like he was carrying the plague. It seemed that it was up to him to speak, for no one else seemed willing to do it. Leave it to the most extroverted of individuals to do it.

 **"Hey there, partner,"** Jesse decided to offer after a second, lifting a hand in ginger greeting towards Hanzo and casting him a shy, hopefully reassuring smile. It faltered when the man looked up at him blankly, and it seemed to defeat any hope that Jesse had at trying to cheer him up with one of his quick jokes. This wasn't just someone who had a case of severe jet lag. There was something else going on, and soon enough he forced his lips into a thin line and glanced towards Angela with a silent plea in his gaze to help a poor man out. She seemed just as stumped as he was, looking at him with a silent apology before turning to Hanzo with what Jesse recognized as one of her 'forced' smiles.

**"Good evening, mister Shimada. As you've with no doubt have already been told-"**

**"I have not been told anything,"** the blunt words escaped Hanzo and caused Angela to abruptly stop talking. She opened her mouth and closed it multiple times before nodding slowly and clearing her throat to get her thoughts back on track.

 **"Ah... I see. Genji said that he had invited you to join, but he never _did_ mention anything about you agreeing in time for him to explain. Figures he didn't explain the whole process,"** she did well enough at brushing her discomfort away, Jesse noted. Ever the vigilant doctor, always caring for what the patient thought rather than she did. Though that was a sorry way to put it, wasn't it? But looking at Hanzo, Jesse didn't think he could really describe the man as anything other than a broken case that Angela had to fix... this time in a different way than she had to fix his brother.

He was suddenly acutely aware of the absence of the other Shimada brother, the one who had decided to bring this new member to their ranks. He had said something about 'giving his brother the help he needed,' and making sure he felt 'happy and safe.' After what he had done to Genji, it was a wonder that he even bothered with the other. But it was not his past to judge, nor his future to determine. If Genji said that Hanzo was okay, he couldn't say anything else even if he wanted to. Giving others second chances was something he was disconcertingly good at. And yet the very person who was so excited at the prospect of having his brother join was now nowhere to be seen, and Jesse finally realized why everyone was so uncomfortable with the entire situation. Genji was supposed to have been here to introduce his brother and make him comfortable, and right now all that was happening was that Hanzo was met with a bunch of strange faces who were looking at him with either pity or disgust, or a mixture of both. He realized too late that he had been eyeing the man with pity himself, and silently cursed himself for doing so.

Hanzo seemed to be back to eyeing the floor, and Jesse allowed his eyes to roam the man once again with a slight frown as Angela started to introduce everyone and explain the joining process to what appeared to be their new recruit. His shoulders were hunched forward, bag held in a loose grip and entire posture on the verge of toppling over. He was built strong and sturdy, but his muscles weren't tense because he was wielding a weapon but rather because of the situation that he was presently shoved into. Casual clothes seemed to be thrown onto the man without a care, baggy and hiding most of what Hanzo hid beneath behind a security blanket of animosity. It was hard not to pity the guy - he seemed to have been dragged through hell and back... more than a few times. All the pride and strength Genji had once described to him about his brother seemed gone with the wind, and he wondered how many of those stories were just that... stories.

 **"Jesse?"** he was ripped rather violently out of his thoughts as Angela suddenly directed her attention towards him, and he found that upon looking up that the older Shimada was looking at him with no lack of distrust in his eyes. Realizing he had been staring he let out a small splutter of a noise before turning his attention towards their medic, quirking a brow as if to edge her on to telling him what she needed.

 **"I asked if it would be okay for you to bring Hanzo to his room. He has paperwork he needs to fill out, and until his brother returns from god knows where he can finish it in the dorms,"** maybe it was just his imagination but he swore that there was underlying amusement to her tone, though he chose to ignore it to instead smile towards Hanzo with what he hoped was the most reassuring grin he could muster.

 **"Let's ask the man himself, maybe?"** might as well try to be courteous and give the man the space he wanted... if he wanted it. No words escaped Hanzo apart from a grunt and a nod, and he was soon staring once more as the man walked towards him with a grace he wouldn't have expected from someone that looked so tired.

 **"A'ight... if you'll follow me, then,"** another silent plea was cast towards Angela, but she only shrugged back at him and mouthed 'sorry.' He knew he was the best with people around here, save for Genji of course. But right now he had the sneaking suspicion that Hanzo didn't want anyone around him _other_ than his brother, even if he seemed pretty okay with having Jesse lead him to his room. The last thing that Jesse wanted was to intrude on someone's space when they didn't want it, and he was glad for the fact that the other didn't seem _too_ pissed off about the fact that he had to be led somewhere around a base that he knew nothing about with no one he knew. God knows Jesse wouldn't have.

\----

 **"Your brother had seemed very excited when he said you decided to accept his offer,"** Jesse offered, wandering through the halls of the dormitory to try and find the room that Hanzo was going to be stationed in. With the lack of operatives that worked underneath the 'overwatch' name, there was a fair number that he could offer, and it didn't feel right to deny the man a chance at comfort, especially given that he looked like he was about to crawl out of his skin the longer he remained here. **"It ain't like 'm to just... not show up,"** he continued, more to himself in thought that to the newcomer. He almost didn't catch the snort of disbelief at those words if not for the fact that words soon broke the silence to accompany it.

 **"Then you don't know my brother very well,"** the words were laced with venom that made his skin crawl, but he tried to ignore that feeling and offer a sheepish smile towards Hanzo in return.

 **"Nah... I mean, you're right. He's made it a point to be late to almost every meeting we have... but by the way he was almost jumping off of the walls after receiving your message I'd think that he'd be here the moment the aircraft landed. I didn't hear that he had any important business to attend to, or at least Winston didn't tell me of nothin'. It's simply weird that he wouldn't be 'ere,"** it seemed that Hanzo had decided to go back to silence, grunting in response to his words and glancing at the next door that they had arrived with. It was going to be a long day if he had to put up with this. He wasn't a downer by any chance, but even he had his limits when it came to trying to cheer people up. It was like the elder Shimada _didn't_ want to be happy.

With a sigh Jesse swiped his card along the reader, waiting for the 'beep' before sliding the door open and motioning for Hanzo to go in first. He seemed content to do so as fast as possible, flying past Jesse without a second glance. Try as hard as he might, the gunslinger couldn't keep his pity in check, watching the man stop in the center of the room with a look of subtle disgust. They had gone through what must have been at least seven rooms by now, and nothing seemed to fit his needs. Too small, too big, too far from the staircase. Each place had it's own problems, and Jesse was prepared to have to deal with another 'not this one' and move on to the next. He hovered near the door, raising a brow when the man didn't instantly disregard the room.

 **"I will take it,"** surprise was quick to register on his features, earning him a glare from the man before he turned back around to circle around the room to closer analyze it. It took him a while, but eventually Jesse pushed himself up from the wall, nodding slowly before opening his mouth to speak.

 **"It's good to have a new face around,"** he quietly offered, watching as Hanzo inspected the room with a look of contempt. It seemed to catch him off guard for as soon as Jesse lifted his gaze up he found that the man was staring intensely at him, expression unreadable. Though it wasn't a pleasant thing to look at, he offered the man one of his small smiles and nodded, tipping the hat on his head towards him out of habit.

 **"Don't let the others get to ya. I'll see if I can catch Genji anywhere,"** he wasted no time in turning around, ready to get out of the room as fast as possible. It wasn't because of Hanzo, or at least not his attitude towards everyone. Jesse just knew when someone was at their limit and needed to be left alone. He wasn't sent as an entertainment party to accompany Hanzo to his new room, he had just been an escort. His job here was done, and he figured that it was the best course of action to get Hanzo's brother to fix the situation.


	2. chapter two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji Shimada is a little shit and Jesse fails at keeping one Hanzo Shimada distracted happily. He's more than willing to tie the man down to a chair to keep him from escaping through a window.  
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Save the cowboy he doesn't know what he's doing.

**"Where** the **_hell_ are you?" ** he was far beyond pissed by this point, having trying to reach Genji for the past half hour with no luck. The obnoxious 'you have reached the number of Genji Shimada, who is busy at the current moment. Please leave your message after the beep,' was enough to get him crazy at this point, and though he had nothing against the man's voice he had a feeling that even once the cyborg picked up the very sound of it would send Jesse into a fury.

 **"Rude - I'd at least say 'hello.' Lets try this again and this time be courteous,"** the bastard hung up on him, earning a snarl from the gunslinger as he almost threw his phone across the room. He would have, too, if it hadn't cost Winston a fortune out of his own wallet to pay for. He wasn't going cheap on the scientist, insisting on having all the latest tech even though he'd never actually used it before. Winston had made his skepticism clear but decided not to fight Jesse on it. He was sometimes too stubborn for his own good.

He punched in the number again, ready to reach in through the phone and strangle the man if the gods above were only willing to give him that ability. Three rings passed and Jesse was about to give up on the entire endeavor and go hunt down the man wherever the hell he was personally, but after a definitive click Genji was back on the line.

He swore he could _feel_ the man smirking on the other side.

 **"Have I reached one Genji Shimada this fine day?"** Jesse decided to amuse the man, oh so _glad_ that it worked if the self-righteous chuckle was anything to go by.

**"This is him. Who is this?"**

_You know very well who this is you asshole -_ **"Jesse McCree calling. How are you today? Go on any nice trips? See anything nice? Forget about something _important_ _?"_**

  **"Oh, you know. I've been around. And no, I haven't missed anything important recently. Unless you're talking about another meeting, and you know exactly how I feel about those. I don't particularly care about getting to them on time,"** figures that the man didn't particularly care to admitting his faults. He never seemed to care, even if he was 'changed' from his times in Blackwatch. It was like his time in Nepal made him lazier - at least when he was pissed he got shit done.

But now Jesse was too irked to try and deal with Genji and his laziness. There were more pressing matters on hand then chastising the man for not attending meetings.

 **"Well, while you were hoverin' around god knows where our little 'welcome committee' ended up being far less welcoming than anticipated. Our new member looked like he was about to go right back from where he came from and it's a miracle he even agreed to stay,"** there was a telltale curse on the other side of the line, and if he wasn't pressed on time Jesse might have even felt smug about it. A few hushed apologies were murmured to someone on the other side and he could only imagine who Genji was hanging out with this time.

 **"Shit - I'm sorry Jesse, I didn't know this was what you were calling about. I forgot that it was today..."** at least he had the audacity to sound guilty about it. It didn't ease the scowl on Jesse's lips, however, and the moment Genji fell silent he started talking once more with no less bite to his tongue.

 **"Well you better get your ass down here as fast as possible. I wouldn't put it past him to jump out of a window to escape, given how prideful he seemed to be. And he looks like he'd be good at jumping out of windows."** There was a chuckle on the other side but it soon fell into uneasy silence once more. Jesse could almost feel Genji thinking, and after a long expanse of silence he was debating whether or not to speak. His mouth closed the moment that the cyborg spoke up, tone hushed and dare he say sad?

 **"I'll be right over just... keep him distracted. I don't want to lose him to something stupid."** _God damn right it's stupid.  
_

**"Yeah, well, there's a little problem with that, partner. The guy barely got past the first checkpoint without looking like he was going to murder everyone, and I have the sneaking suspicion that he wouldn't be past stabbing the next person who bothers him in the ass."** Hanzo seemed ready to crawl out of there on his hands and knees, and with the looks everyone was giving him he doubted he'd feel safe enough to tell them he decided to leave. Jumping out of a window seemed far more likely to Jesse. Another chuckle, though the words started much faster this time and didn't leave Jesse to ponder much about an escaping Hanzo.

 **"That he wouldn't be. Just... please, Jesse. I'll make it up to you."** It tugged on his heartstrings to hear that tone, and a tired sigh escaped Jesse as he felt himself fall. Screw him and his need to help others. Times were easier when you were in a gang and didn't care about anyone but yourself.

 **"Fine. I'll do it, but if I end up getting stabbed then it's on you. I'm sworn to cover for Hana and not rat her out to Angela, and if this fails you're taking both our kitchen shifts,"** he muttered out, playing with his shirt in idle irritation, directed more-so at himself than anyone else at that moment.

 **"Sounds fair,"** no other words were passed between them as the phone went dead on the other line, and another sigh escaped Jesse's parted lips as he let go of his crumpled fabric. He stared at the phone for a few seconds, wondering whether or not he should call back to ask Genji how to exactly distract his brother, but he thought against it and shoved the electronic in his pocket.

 **"The things you do for people, Jesse McCree,"** he muttered out into the empty air, running a hand through his hair in frustration. All he could do was hope that this wouldn't go too horribly as he turned around and headed back towards the hallway he had left a few minutes ago, all the while trying to come up with a good plan to keep Hanzo away from any escape routes. The least appealing option was tying the man to a chair and forcing him to wait.

\---

This was far from how Hanzo imagined this to go. Where he had been expecting his brother, he had been met with faces that looked upon him with either disgust or pity. The nicer ones tried to at least hide it, but the others didn't bother showing that Hanzo was not truly welcome. It had already put him off and he was ready to crawl out of his skin and return back to the dark aircraft he had gotten out of. He didn't know why he bothered giving the whole place a chance after that, but he had agreed to try, if only to get to see Genji whenever he decided to return.

At least his escort had been nice enough, though he didn't miss the pity in his eyes as he gazed at his sorry state. Hanzo could only imagine how he looked, especially after _that_ introduction. He could tell that the man wanted to be courteous and engage in small talk but he pointedly ignored all the words and responded with only simple words or grunts until he seemed to get it and fell silent beside him as they roamed the hallways where Hanzo was expected to choose a room. It wasn't that he didn't want to be nice, but after the events that transpired he didn't feel like trying very hard to entertain anyone. He was glad that the gunslinger seemed to get it, simply leading him to rooms and listening for the 'no' that he kept on repeating.

But after the seventh room, Hanzo was tired. None of them had much variation to them and weren't what he was looking for, and he had begrudgingly accepted the fact that he wouldn't find anything like the rooms in Hanamura. He decided to take the next one, no matter how it looked, because even in the silence he didn't feel comfortable anymore being in the company of anyone. He wanted to be left alone, at least until Genji came back. He didn't need others intruding on his space when he was this close to letting his emotions bubble over and snapping. Jesse seemed just as surprised as he was when he took the next living quarters, excusing himself and giving the futile comfort of finding his brother.

Once the man left Hanzo felt the loneliness and silence press down on him once again, and whereas it might have been comforting in a place he knew it only seemed to make everything worse. He was forced to sit down on the bed that was one of the only decorations in the room, having to will himself not to curl up into a ball and hide underneath the sheets like a little kid. Instead he settled for pulling his knees to his chest, hugging them tightly as he stared blankly at a blank patch on the wall. He was glad for the earthy colors, too accustomed to the pristine white of most hotel rooms that made him sick to his stomach. The colors were comforting.

He worked on steadying his breathing, trying to push away the demons that threatened to claw their way into his head. He forced them away with hopes of Genji returning, a futile promise but he had nothing better to cling to. It did wonders, however, instantly giving him something else to focus on rather than his emotions.

The paperwork sat on his desk, discarded and laying haywire having been thrown with little care onto it the moment that Hanzo was alone. He didn't feel like doing anything work related, too tired both physically and emotionally to even try. All he wanted to do was to go to sleep, that or run away and leave his problems so that he didn't have to deal with life and his problems. Being on the run wasn't that bad... he didn't have people staring at him like he was some wild animal, either with distrust or like he needed to be coddled and saved. At least there he didn't have to deal with everyone trying to do much other than kill him.

He didn't even know what to say once Genji _did_ arrive. He couldn't come up with even one good starting point, and it left him at another loss that forced him to think about just leaving before he had to deal with any of this. Maybe it was just the fact that he was tired that forced him to stay, because try as he might he didn't think he could manage to move his limbs even if he wanted to. The bed was also very comfortable compared to the ground he had been sleeping on for the past few years.

A tired sigh escaped Hanzo, and he allowed himself to fall back on the bed, staring at the ceiling with the same blank expression he wore when looking at the wall. He didn't know what to do with himself, and it frustrated himself more than anything. He didn't want to do anything but at the same time doing nothing made him anxious. He was ready to start pacing the room, and he became aware of the fact that he was starting to feel more and more like a prisoner even though the door was right there and he could leave whenever he wanted. He just didn't know if he wanted to, and that was the problem. Out there were the people who acted like he was a monster (he was, but it didn't feel good either way) and he didn't want to see them. 

A frustrated groan escaped the man, and he rolled onto his stomach on the bed, smothering himself in the soft blankets until it got hard to breathe and he turned right back around to glare at the door. He hated this place already. He wanted _out. H_ anzo almost crawled out of the bed, letting his feet hit the ground with the quiet click of metal on metal. With a few soft taps he made it to the door, frustration rendering in the violent way he almost ripped the door open, thankful that he didn't have to swipe any cards from the inside.

The last thing he expected was a solid, _warm_ wall to greet him, and he received a facefull of chest that caused him to splutter and push back against it, fury causing him to ball his fists and glare up at whoever decided it was proper to disturb his escape. His glare was met with an even stare and a shy grin as the gunslinger raised his hand gingerly to wave.

 **"Woah there,"** he had never wanted to punch someone as much as he had in that very moment. 

\---

The archer looked like he was about to set his wrath upon the entire base if Jesse didn't stop him in a second. The only problem was that he didn't know _how_ without ending up being one of the casualties. It seemed he was right to assume that Hanzo wasn't going to stay put for long, if the bag and bow at his side were anything to go by.

 **"Ya going anywhere, Shimada?"** he asked, genuinely curious and far from accusatory. It seemed that Hanzo didn't take it that way, shooting him a scowl that basically screamed 'get out of my way.' But Jesse McCree was one stubborn man, and he had a promise to keep to a certain someone who was probably the reason for all of this.

 **"I need air,"** was the blunt reply, and Jesse's eyebrows lifted up as if to question that statement to the archer's discontent.

 **"Now I ain't callin' ya a liar... but I don't think you need your bag to get a little air,"** he watched Hanzo scowl down at his items before moving the expression back up towards Jesse, a challenge in his eyes daring Jesse to do anything about it.

**"Ain't gonna even wait for your brother?"**

**"He's made it clear that he doesn't want to come. I have been tricked and made a fool of and I'm ready to leave,"** It seemed that Jesse was doing a whole load of sighing around the older Shimada, for other reasons than he did towards Genji. He was just _set_ on hating everything, and though he had a lot of patience he was slowly starting to lose it. He wanted to take the man and shake him, yell at him to understand that this very attitude was what was going to make others hate him even more than they already did.

 **"Genji is irresponsible, yes, but he _does_ want to have you hear. He just got caught up in somethin', 's all,"** Jesse offered, sidestepping as Hanzo tried to do the same to get past him. This wall wasn't going anywhere. Like hell was letting the archer escape.

 **"I need air,"** he returned to his former statement, peering up at Jesse with the same scowl still on his face.

 **"Then leave your bags here and let me walk with you,"** he retorted, staring back down at Hanzo with hopefully the same amount of intensity. He could be just as obtuse if he wanted to be, and right now he wanted to be. It was the only way to get to these kinds of people sometimes.

 **"I want to be _alone_ ," **Hanzo hissed out in return, but it did little to Jesse who just smiled and shrugged, crossing his arms around his chest to punctuate his unwillingness to move.

 **"Then I'll let you go alone if you leave your bags here,"** he offered, watching as Hanzo stared at his bags with a conflicted expression crossing his features.

A moment of silence passed between them before he heard Hanzo breathe out through his nose in an irritated huff. He didn't respond to Jesse's statement, simply opening the door behind him and shoving the bags back inside, then stalking past Jesse in a fury.

Not a foolproof plan, but it gave him another few minutes before Hanzo decided to run away for sure.


	3. chapter three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where hanzo continues trying to run away and his efforts keep getting thwarted by everyone he stumbles upon. Jumping out of a window is beginning to sound increasingly more appealing.  
> Alternative chapter name: Hanzo shimada is a big baby and Jesse finally snaps

Even though his plans had been thwarted for the time being by no other than the man who had decided to walk him to his room, Hanzo wasn't one to give up easily. It was true that he needed some fresh air, if for a different reason than he first intended. It would give him the time and energy he needed to come up with a better plan then just running away. Even now as he was calming down he realized how stupid he had been. There wasn't exactly a mode of transport he could take out of here, unless he felt like walking a couple of miles to the next city. Overwatch hid their bases well, or at least the ones where their agents resided. Hanzo wasn't one to know the details - he'd never visited any but this one.

He only became aware of the headache forming in his head once he reached the doorway that led to the outside. The press of cool wind against his face reminded him of it, thankfully as a result of it easing the stress instead of increasing it. It was far from a comfortable situation, but he'd take it. It was better then being cooped up in a place that felt nothing like home with someone who seemed intent on keeping him put. Like hell he was going to wait - his mind was already supplying thousands of reasons Genji did this to set him up, and he didn't want to relive any of them in reality.

The wind was doing wonders to soothe him, causing the archer to release a breath he hadn't been aware of that had been building painfully in his chest. The heat of his anger was dying down with the cold, and the longer he stood there the clearer he could think. Plans started to formulate in his head almost instantaneously, and the knowledge that he had some semblance of a plan was enough to put him even more at ease. He could get out of here - it wasn't just a far fetched dream.

 **"Shimada Hanzo, I'm guessing?"** the voice startled Hanzo and he nearly jumped up, reaching for his bow only to scowl as he realized it wasn't there. His reaction must have looked amusing enough, for a cackle escaped the girl who suddenly appeared in the doorway behind him, leaning against the frame idly and inspecting him with interest. He realized only a second later that she didn't seem to be giving him the stares everyone else had been, and the most of the strain in his muscles seemed to evaporate almost instantly.

 **"I'm assuming that Genji told everyone around here about the new arrival, and unless there's somebody else scheduled to come then yes, that is I,"** a grin formed on the girl's face at his attempt at light banter, instantly catching on to the playful sarcasm he was presenting her with. Or maybe it was just her imagination, and he was just being a jerk. Who knew these days? Better yet - who cared?

 **"Mhm. Song, Hana - pleasure. I was supposed to meet ya out there but I got... preoccupied. Sorry. Think of this as a... late welcome party,"** she mused, sticking a hand out towards Hanzo and waiting for a shake. It took him a moment, wariness seeping into his bones for long enough to make his paranoia clang pots and pans together in his head. He took it eventually, however, offering a polite nod towards Hana which she seemed more than content with.

 **"Where ya goin'?"** by her tone Hanzo knew that it wasn't so much a question as a demand, and he squirmed underneath her expecting stare as he tried to come up with a good excuse before deciding that he technically had one. He wasn't going anywhere _yet._

 **"I'm going to just walk around the base. I didn't feel like doing the paperwork and my room is far from a comfort at this given moment,"** he responded, glancing behind him and trying to find a good excuse to leave. It seemed he wouldn't be getting any, Hana's hand suddenly wrapping around his wrist as she grinned slyly up at him.

 **"Great! I can show you around to make up for not being at your arrival!"** he almost wanted to groan, but instead settled on a politely strained smile directed her way as he tried (and failed) to loosen her grip on his wrist. She was almost bursting with energy and he wondered briefly if it was simply because she was truly excited about the concept of showing him around or if she was trying to be intentionally cruel. He was more willing to believe the latter.

**"That will not be necessary miss Song-"**

**"Nonsense! You'll get lost without help,"** his attempts at turning her down were thwarted and Hanzo found himself at a loss. He opened his mouth to argue, only to find he had nothing convincing to say and close his mouth again. There was that cruel grin again, and he knew that the only way he was getting out of this without casualties was by giving in. The idea was less than appealing and he chanced another glance around. Still no signs of any escape routes.

Hanzo's lips promptly formed a thin line when he looked back once more at a beaming Hana. This was going to be a long day if he had to deal with this.

 **"If you're done eye goggling all the doors in hopes of escape, let's go,"** the little girl mused, and though it caused his face to heat up in a definitive blush to get caught, he was glad for the absence of judgement that seemed to be in her gaze. It was a sly, knowing look - but it wasn't anything he didn't deserve.

**"I-"**

**"Don't try to deny it, mister Shimada. You'd be surprised how many newbies like yourself often think of running away the first moment they arrive. Trust me, you're not the only one with a soiled past,"** she started out with the same tone she had been addressing him with earlier, amused with a bit of self-righteousness mixed in. Her voice lost that edge the moment she spoke the last sentence, and from the brief moment that Hanzo knew her he couldn't say that it wasn't surprising. The statement in itself was believable (they always did say that overwatch was shut down for a reason) but the way she said it made it seem like she knew the problems far more intimately than he'd think. 

What could a girl who looked barely over eighteen know? His mind snarled the accusation at him and instantly whatever softness and hope Hanzo had towards the situation dissipated into the air. What were just thinly pressed lips was now a barely veiled scowl, and he firmly snatched his hand away from Hana. Guilt almost managed to get a hold of him instead at the hurt look the girl aimed towards him, but he didn't have much time to ponder over it as she return the glare he was giving her almost double-fold.

 **"Here's a word of advice,"** the girl muttered, and for the first time since he had gotten here Hanzo suddenly felt _bad._ Gone was the friendly banter and sly attitude, and in it's place stood someone almost as cold and rigid as himself. His hands twitched briefly at his sides though he refused to give in to his sentiments and stared evenly down at Hana, pretending that nothing was going on inside of him. **"Stop acting like a pretentious fuck and like the entire world is against you. We've all gone through some shit, Shimada - but at least we gave others a _chance._ No one's going to bother with you if you push them away enough."**

 **"Some of us are actually trying to be nice,"** her tone lost it's edge, and the archer felt that it was even worse. He could deal with the anger of some kid, but the defeat and sadness with which those words were said made something in his gut twist. He clenched and unclenched his fists, unsure of what to do with his hands - with his whole body. His clothes were starting to feel suffocating, and he wanted to do nothing but rip everything off and go... go do w _hat_ exactly? He didn't have a plan - it mostly just ended at hiding in the closet or throwing himself off a cliff, and neither thing was exactly what he wanted to do while being naked. His plans ended at a dead end once again and the man snarled before turning around, dangerously close to breaking yet again. He didn't bother sparing a look back at Hana - he didn't want to see her hurt expression again. Better yet, he never wanted to see her or anyone else in this place ever again.

But his escape routes were all closed off, and the only place he truly had was to go back to his room and wait for his brother. It was the most logical viewpoint and yet his mind seemed to want to rebel against it even as he rationalized that in the end he'd be better off doing it.

\---

**"I know you have a practice range. Where is it?"**

This conversation hadn't even began and Jesse already knew it was going to go awfully. It seemed that air wasn't exactly what Hanzo needed. A therapist would do a far better job he thought to himself and couldn't stop the smirk that formed on his lips as he silently congratulated himself for the witty commentary that nobody asked for. Thank the lord above that he kept his stupid mouth shut for at least one moment, because this was the worst time to be joking around and the second worst person. He still wondered if Morrison beat Hanzo in the 'constantly pissed off and can't take a joke" category. Was it something he was willing to find out...? Well, he preferred having all of his teeth in his mouth, so no.

 **"Air didn't help, Shimada?"** Jesse replied, putting the book he had been reading face-down on his lap and leaning back against the chair he had been sitting on lazily. He was in no rush, and couldn't care less if he came across as an asshole. He was simply buying time for Genji to get his ass down from god knows where, and he liked to pride himself for being able to keep a man occupied for hours with mindless chit-chat. If the scowl was anything to go by, Hanzo didn't share his sentiment.

 **"If you won't answer I'll find someone else,"** the archer muttered to himself, forcing yet another sigh out of Jesse as he shifted positions and leaned forward on his knees with his hands clasped firmly together near his chin. He felt almost like a parent, ready to chastise a kid for being a prick to someone else. But with another elongated release of breath he decided against it and simply rolled his eyes to nod, complying to the man's wishes.

 **"Alright, alright. Y'know how to shoot a gun?"** he must have hurt the man's pride by the sneer he was given, knowing that look all too well when he had used it on Reyes. He refrained from rolling his eyes, instead settling on quirking his brow to show that he expected a proper response. It was like dealing with an egotistical little brat, though he guessed it wasn't too far from the truth. Genji and Hanzo had both been pampered and protected, given all the riches and promises of the world. Jesse, on the other hand, had been an asshole because he needed to survive. There were two types of people.

 **"Of course I know how to shoot a gun, but I don't want to,"** with that tone it wasn't hard to imagine Hanzo crossing his hands, stomping a foot and sticking his tongue out towards Jesse. Just like a kid, he thought once again to himself though managed to have more self control than before and kept a straight face.

 **"Alright. Then what _do_ you want to do?" **he offered, lowering his hands to rub at his knees with what must have been the twentieth sigh that day. He swore he would faint from lack of proper oxygen flow if he remained around Hanzo for any longer. Mix that in with the fact that his smoking didn't help his breathing and he had quite a good chance of it, come to think of it. He'd have to go see Angela to see if there was a cure to a severe case of ' _I'm done with this bullshit.'_

 **"I will get my bow, and you will show me where the training grounds are,"** he was glad to hear that the man didn't say it with as much toxicity as he could have, though it caused suspicion to cascade down him in waves a second after. His eyes narrowed at the man, who's mood seemed to sour yet again at the look he was being given, and shook his head subtly.

 **"Only your bow. Nothing else. _Got it?_ " **The likeness to a child was getting ridiculous at this point and he had to wonder if he was really doing this right now. There were far better things he could be occupying himself, like reading the book he had been rudely interrupted from, and yet he was baby sitting a guy who acted both like the world was beneath him and like everyone hated him. Did no one really teach him that it was exactly the former that caused the latter? ' _Some people'_ he thought bitterly to himself before getting up.

Hanzo seemed even more irritated by the question, shooting daggers at Jesse who simply shrugged it off. By now he knew to take most of what Shimada did with a grain of salt, and he was more than willing to do it too. **"I was not planning on-"**

 **"I know ya weren't, but just in case. I'll be here when you come back,"** Jesse responded before Hanzo could finish, and cutting him off seemed to do the job for he seemed lost for words for a moment and then turned around with a grunt towards, he hoped, his room. And hopefully he wouldn't try to run away. It dawned on him a little too late that maybe he should have followed after the archer to make sure, but his book was waiting and he had just gotten to a good part. Hanzo could take care of himself... hopefully.

\---

The stupid man had managed to get rid of yet another one of his plans, though it wasn't as hard of a blow on him as it could have been. He still had an excuse to go to the room his stuff was in and take it before Jesse could orient himself. It was a relief when the man let him go on his own, and Hanzo didn't plan to go back to train any time soon. He was going to get his stuff and _leave._ Even the subtle guilt he felt eating away at his core for lying couldn't deter him from his task.

It took only a few minutes to get to his room and grab his stuff, thankful that he hadn't bothered repacking. It would give him more time to come up with a solid plan of escape. Jesse would think he was changing and getting his bow, while in reality he'd be long gone from the overwatch base... if everything went well, that was. Things never did and he was willing to bet that this wouldn't either.

He shouldered his bow, throwing a jacket over himself before he left in case the cold ended up being more of a problem than it had been in the sheltered location the base was in. Everything he needed was already in his bag, and so there was only leaving left to do.

It felt like he was on the run again, sneaking out of his chamber and carefully making as little noise as possible. The prosthetic legs he had, despite being metal, were built specifically to muffle his movements and he was glad that the clan had decided to supply him with such after the... "accident" that rid him of the means to walk. They didn't go cheap on what they believed to be the last remaining heir of their empire. They had a _reputation_ to uphold. The thought made him sneer.

This was what their reputation had led to.

He wandered the hallways aimlessly, trying to find the least inconspicuous exit he could take. The air terminal was out of the question, since he couldn't take anything to fly out of here anyways. The main entrance was located in a clearing that could be seen from almost the entire base, so that was out of the picture. The only things he had left were any small exits that led into the woods that he hadn't found yet. But for now he needed to make it past the _hallways_ before he had a chance at anything.

Why was it that his plans never seemed to work?

 **"Agent Shimada?"** he cursed silently as another voice decided to greet him out of nowhere, mentally berating himself for being so caught up in his thoughts that he couldn't even hear the click of Angela's heels on the floor until it was too late. He waited a second before turning around, forcing a smile as he saw her looking at him with a question not only in her tongue but also her eyes. _Again with the pity,_ he thought bitterly to himself, catching the look in her eyes before she could get rid of it and put on her own professional smile.

 **"Yes, miss Ziegler?"** he decided to entertain her for a while, deciding it would be less suspicious if it appeared like he was in no rush even though he was itching to bolt out of there as fast as his legs would allow him.

 **"Is everything alright? You seem... troubled,"** she looked at the bag at his side in inquiry, and he subtly shifted it behind himself while keeping the strained grin plastered onto his lips.

 **"I am fine, thank you. I was simply exploring the area to get to know the base more. I do not wish to get lost when we have any important sessions going on,"** he had the feeling that she didn't buy into the lie, but he was glad that she didn't seem keen on pressing him to talk. There was a stubborn pout on her face, but other than that she seemed fine in letting him do whatever it was she thought he was doing.

**"Alright... but if there's anything you need-"**

**"There ya are, Shimada! The training range's that-a-way,"**

He wanted to strangle the man right then and there, shooting him a glare that would have frozen anyone smart enough in their tracks. Jesse didn't seem to get it, returning his death stare with a cheeky grin as he meandered over. He noticed the subtle look that was passed between the two, something along the lines of sentiment, and decided to redirect his scowl towards Angela as well. He had a feeling this was set up, or she had somehow notified Jesse of his presence and the fact that he looked like he was about to leave. Couldn't they all just leave him alone?

 **"Yes... I am sorry, I lost my way over,"** Hanzo hissed out through a clenched jaw, tightening his grip on the bag at his side to the point he was sure it would leave a mark on his palm later.

 **"No problem, partner. We've all been there. Angie - heard you're needed down at the med bay, good that I stumbled across ya. I'll take care of mister Shimada,"** the man mused towards Angela, who seemed relieved that she had a good excuse to leave. Once again Hanzo had his sneaking suspicions that there was nothing going on and that Jesse McCree was just far too good at giving cover up stories to people.

Once Angela was gone he felt the tension in the air rise significantly, and upon lifting his eyes from the retreading medic up to Jesse he instantly looked down to avoid the look of pure disappointment.

\---

 **"You know, I still don't get it,"** Jesse muttered, crossing his arms and staring down at Hanzo with disbelief. At least he looked guilty, staring at the ground like he wanted it to swallow him whole. He didn't have the energy to deal with this anymore, and as a dull headache started to make it's presence known he raised a hand to rub the bridge of his nose with a sigh. **"You _just_ arrived here and yet you're dead set on leaving. What's so bad about us that you don't wanna even give us folk a chance?" **He honestly could not understand no matter how hard he tried, and the glare that he was met with didn't exactly make him want to know.

He didn't get a chance to excuse himself as Hanzo started to speak, and the best way he could associate the man's tone was that of a wounded animal that wanted to be left alone to lick it's wounds. He knew it was partially his fault for following the man around when he wanted to be left alone, but what _else_ was he supposed to do? He had already proven that he couldn't be trusted to not run away when left alone, and he was glad that Angela had found him before he could do anything irrational.

 **"Because I _know_ what you all think of me. Coming here was a mistake and I can see that I am not wanted. Whether or not my brother set me up to this doesn't matter when wherever I go I'm met with those _stares._ It's always either _pity_ or _hatred_ and I'm sick and _tired_ of it! And it's only been two _hours!"_** Oh he had done it now - Hanzo was definitely more than just pissed at this point, the scream resonating through the hall with an echo that made Jesse flinch back. It didn't take him long to gather his bearings, and with one long sturdy glare at the archer he decided to do that which he knew he should have done from the beginning, feelings be damned.

 **" _Exactly!_ It's only been two hours and you haven't even given anyone a _chance!_ All you're doing is wallowing around in self pity and then expecting us not to shower you with the same!" **He threw his hands up exasperated, close to grabbing the man by the collar of his shirt if not for the look that caused him to stop in his tracks. Jesse swallowed thickly, lowering his hands to his sides and forcing his fists to relax with a frustrated breath. **"You need to give us a c _hance._ I ain't asking for ya to go around lovin' us like we're all your family, but this isn't going to go well for either party if you continue how you've been going around things so far."**

He couldn't decipher the look that Hanzo was giving him, and eventually gave up on trying to figure out what the older man was or was not thinking. For all he knew the guy wanted to kill him, though it seemed unlikely as his hands were pressed firmly by his side and nowhere near either Jesse or his weapon. The silence was deafening, and Jesse couldn't help but continue talk of fear that it would crush both of them where they stood. Tension was high, and the only thing he knew how to do well during these moments was to talk.

So blabber on he did.

**"'S not fair how everyone else looks at ya, trust me I know. But it's also not fair how you're makin' it out to be some great tragedy and making other's into monsters they're not. I'm not gonna lie, buddy, we all know what you're capable of and it gives every one of us the right to not trust you,"  
**

**"But I meant it when I said that it's good to have new faces around no matter their history. You're no different than a lot of us, and overwatch was built to help people. Just... try'n let it help _you._ "**

A tired sigh escaped Jesse as he realized that he was playing with his shirt again, and he wasted no time in smoothing it down before looking back up at Hanzo. It was the most frustrating thing he had to deal with all day - the fact that he couldn't read what Hanzo was thinking. Here he thought he was good at knowing what others felt, but the archer was something different. It was more than irritating to find that you didn't know how someone took your entire speech, or if Hanzo had even been listening. But he was done talking. There was nothing else left to say.

" **If you wanna go, I ain't stoppin' ya any longer. I'm tired and I've got a good book with my name on it that I haven't been able to finish because of your antics,"** he didn't wait for a response or a visual cue, turning around with a small wave to head back to the "living room" where he came from. He swore he could feel Hanzo's gaze burning into his back as he did so, but Jesse didn't bother turning around to see if the man had decided to take his leave yet or not. 

He just didn't know what he'd tell Genji once he came back if Hanzo did.


	4. chapter four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Genji shimada tries to not be as big of a shit as he usually is.
> 
> I am so sorry for how late this is, real life got me dead and all the exams I had just finished me off and threw me into the void. I didn't want to give you guys a half-assed chapter because ya'll deserve better so I finally got around to dishing out something more decent!
> 
> Here have a cool song as compensation - lost by Connor Phillips

If he had been able to, Genji might have transformed and flew back to headquarters as fast as he could. Problem was, he couldn't - not anymore at least. There was no grudge that came with the realization, just the knowledge that Hanzo would have to stay alone for longer.

He truly  _had_ forgiven his older brother for what had happened. He couldn't imagine a better fate than to have him by his side again as a companion, not as someone he viewed as an enemy. There was a bitter somberness still attached to past memories of their encounter, but thanks to the help of his master the cyborg had learned to look back even _farther._ Zenyatta had made Genji realized that he wasn't without his faults either, leaving a brother in the arms of a clan who did more harm then good. He had been selfish for leaching off of the kindness his brother gave to him, the chances that he took and the cover stories he made up every day to explain for his brother's absence. So caught up in his freedom, the younger Shimada failed to understand... didn't _want_ to understand what his brother was going through. In the end, Hanzo had not been the only one at fault for what had happened.

He didn't like to fault himself either - humans were selfish that way. Hanzo was stubborn, and Genji liked to think that it ran in the Shimada blood. Dragons could prove to be like that sometimes. He doubted that he'd admit to being sorry about what happened and that he had known what was happening but refused to acknowledge it. Maybe enough coaxing from Zenyatta would get him to spill, but for now he had no intentions of giving Hanzo any sort of apology for anything.

He still wanted to make sure that Hanzo was happy now, from this point on. You couldn't change the past, but you could learn to look past it. Genji knew firsthand how hard that was - it had taken him years to calm down even relatively so that every single pore in his body didn't scream "murder" at the very thought of his brother. But he was a different man now; he'd like to think that he'd developed from it. If things hadn't spiraled out of control all those years ago, he'd still be sitting in a bar somewhere and sleeping with whoever he got his hands on. And Hanzo... Hanzo would have continued down the path his father set out for him, and it would have eaten him out from the inside out. His brother always valued duty above all else. The constant conflict in his head between what he was told to do and what he wanted did little to change that. 

It was in the past, but Hanzo had always had the sorry habit of dwelling on history. It was a surprise that he had even sought out Genji to inform him that he was willing to give overwatch a chance. There were no promises, and the phone call had consisted of only his gruff voices muttering a few words and then demanding Genji tell him where to go, promptly followed by the other end of the line going silent. It had still given the cyborg hope, and the entire day after that had consisted of him happily celebrated what he viewed as a change for the positive in his brother. He wanted nothing but to show Hanzo that the redemption he wanted was not an impossible feat. He simply needed to live in the present, and learn to forgive the past. 

No one was ever without their flaws; Genji had acknowledged his and learned to live with them. Hanzo, on the other hand, acted like his flaws defined him, like he _was_ his flaws.

\-----

**"You look like shit,"**

The glare he received from his brother caused Genji to raise his hands in the air defensively, mumbling apologies under his breath that he only half meant. He couldn't just ignore the fact that Hanzo looked like the very manifestation of depression itself, the black attire only an accent to the way his entire form seemed sullen and dull. The bun wasn't in a good shape either, he noted, and found that to be the most surprising of it all. Hanzo had never truly looked happy (he realized how, of all times, that this air had actually often plagued his brother in their youth too) but he had always cared for his hair, meticulously grooming it to what had seemed to him like no end. He was never jealous of his brother's hair, but he was definetaly in awe of how much commitment went into styling it every day. Now it was all awry, and it looked like he hadn't gotten a good cut in years. 

 **"I'm just saying. You've seen better days, brother,"** he offered gently, not aiming to instigate a fight so early into his brother's arrival. He'd wait until he was sure that Hanzo wasn't going to try and finish what he had started. In all honesty, he was still putting a lot of trust into someone who had been set on murdering him. 

He was met with nothing but silence and a stare he couldn't quite analyze. One thing he could tell, however, was that it didn't exactly give him a happy warm feeling. It was like staring down an injured dog. Hanzo could leap at any chance with very little warning. 

 **"You're late,"** the sudden words caused Genji to start, surprised moreso that he had spoken rather than what he had said. 

" **Guess some things never change, do they? I've always had a habit of forgetting things,"** he offered lightly with a sheepish chuckle, though his subtle smile faded away as he received nothing but cold silence instead. 

 **"You've don't forget, Genji. Your bad habits consist of actively ignoring your responsibilities rather than failing to memorize the** m," the words were bitter, each voice laced with venom that caused Genji to flinch back, all chances of handling this with a light mood thrown out the window in a millisecond. Hanzo though that he had actively been avoiding his brother's arrival, that Genji had made a joke of him... he didn't have enough pride in him to not feel guilty about it. 

 **"I know... you're right, brother. But this time I truly did forget. I was preoccupied with something else, and it slipped my mind completely,"** he didn't expect the apology to work, and he was glad that he didn't raise his hopes up too much. He didn't get much but the cold shoulder from Hanzo in turn as the elder Shimada returned to the paperwork he had been meticulously working on when Genji had arrived.

An uncomfortable silence stretched before them, Genji standing quietly at the door and waiting for something, anything from Hanzo. Even a "go fuck yourself" would have been better in this situation. It was better than not knowing what to do completely. 

 **"They don't trust me,"** Genji nearly got a heart attack as Hanzo once again decided to talk out of the blue, startling him out of unpleasant thoughts and uncomfortable monologues in his head. It took him a while to even wrap his head around what Hanzo had said, and once he did he found that his brother was staring at him once more. There was a lack of malice in his expression, simply an open defeat that caught Genji by surprise. It wasn't like Hanzo had ever been open before, taking all that came at him like a stone. The moment that he caught the surprise, however, Hanzo's carefully guarded neutrality returned to mask his feelings, and Genji's muscles relaxed without him having been aware they had even been tense in the first place. 

 **"I... I know, brother. It's going to be hard for them, with no doubt. I   am not going to try and sugar coat it for you. But they aren't bad people, and it will all eventually pass. You just... have to give it all a chance,"** the answer didn't seem to please Hanzo, who sighed shortly after and let his shoulders sag in defeat once more, like holding up his mask was too hard of a task for him. 

 **"I don't know if I can do it,"** this was the closest thing he had to his brother opening up to him since their childhood, and Genji leaped at it like a wild dog. Hope blossomed in his chest once more, and the cyborg chanced stepping away from the door to sit down by Hanzo, keeping a careful distance away as he caught the elder Shimada eyeing him warily. 

 **"I know you can, brother. If you couldn't have done it you wouldn't have taken the chance in the first place. Somewhere, deep inside yourself, you know you are ready,"** he murmured reassuringly towards Hanzo, who stared at him with a pained expression, pen going lax in his hand. 

 **"I'll leave you to unpack. Then you can come join us for dinner after, even if it is just to pick up food and leave,"** he stood up again, nodding towards Hanzo briskly, yearning to touch him but not wanting to risk scaring his brother away. He still seemed uncertain about the entire thing, and Genji didn't want to risk breaking him. 

 **"It's going to turn out alright, brother. I believe that you will find what you need here. You just have to be open to the possibility of change,"** he murmured his parting words to Hanzo, before turning around and shutting the door behind him. All he could do now was simply wait; wait and hope that his brother would come around. For now he'd help the crew with the dinner he hoped Hanzo would agree to eat. 


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As a famous person surely once said, "just go with it." A famous person also probably once said "fuck," though, so by that logic do what you will. Jesse wants Hanzo to be ok but it's hard to do that without pushing at the same time.

It had taken a good few minutes to finish up answering all the tedious questions on the documents he had been given. Hanzo had been informed, kindly, that it was all for show and that the government cared more about it than Overwatch did in order to keep a close eye on it's members than the base of operations itself. It was for show, a one way ticket to "I'm not doing illegal stuff"-ville to get the government (mostly) off of their ass. He still felt like most of the questions were too personal for his liking, starting alight with the usual name, age, sex and race and then spiraling down the rabbit hole of nitpicking and details. He had been forced to write who his former affiliations were, if he had ever been convicted of treason, did he have any personal relations with any of the overwatch members, and then what roughly equated to twenty questions concerning mental and physical health. Did he have depression? Did he have any physical injuries that could damage the integrity of any given mission? The most normal of the questions was if he had any allergies, and even that seemed personal after the onslaught of others. Thankfully it was all just on paper, and Hanzo didn't have to answer these types of questions to anyone face-to-face. It'd be more like an interrogation than an admission process. Perhaps it was an interrogation, and he was just being taken for a fool and the moment they glanced over his paper they'd deem him unworthy. And he wasn't talking about the government here - the UN could very kindly suck his ass for all he cared about them. No, he was still convinced that he had been lied to and that these documents would be scrutinized by the very people he had agreed to work with.

Hanzo squinted at the last page in his hands, staring it down like it held the secrets to his life and refused to give it to him. He didn't trust this paper, but since when was that a surprise? These days trust was hard to come by, and even such a simple thing as thinly chopped pieces of wood could be used against him. He hadn't lied on any of the questions, given that he was sure he'd be called out on them depending on what they did or did not already know from Genji. He wasn't taking chances, truly trying to take his brother's advice to heart and give it all a chance. He doubted he gave any of them a good first impression... you could always try for a good second. He didn't want to be viewed as a liar alongside their probable views of him being a murderer. One weight on his soul was enough.

He thumbed at the paper absently, staring at it but not seeing it as his thoughts wandered elsewhere. This is what he had chosen - a life trying to fight for what was "good," going against a majority of what he had been told during his lifetime. It was a drastic change, going from being the heir of a criminal empire to what some considered a hero. No matter how much he tried to imagine himself in that light... it was the others who came into view first, shining medals in a golden light while crowds applauded them. He was just an afterthought, a shadow among them all. Even if he did help, even if he did manage to create something better for himself... Hanzo was still a criminal at heart. Change wasn't as easy as his brother said it was, and he had learned to take what Genji told him with a grain of salt, pretending to agree just to get him to go away. This was the path to redemption according to his brother... all he saw it as was an apology. Genji had wanted him to come, to fight for what he believed the world deserved. Who was he to deny his brother that, when he had already taken so much from him?

A subtle sigh escaped Hanzo's parted lips, and he stopped the subconscious stroking of the paper to place it down on the floor in front of him, aligning each of them in a neat pile with no edges sticking out. He was only prolonging the inevitable, fixing the pages like it was a matter of life and death, but the archer could not make himself stop. The anxiety of what was going to happen once he left this room was crushing, and he did not want to go out and face reality just yet. It still seemed surreal to him that he was even sitting here, signing papers to give away his life to an organization that no one, not even he, truly believed in any longer. All the glory had faded away ever since Overwatch fell apart. It was a sorry shell of what it had been, much like him. He doubted it's power. He doubted _his_ power.

Another deep breath left him, and with it Hanzo heaved himself to his feet, leaving the papers neatly on the floor behind him. He could at least make himself look presentable, going along with that entire "good second impression" idea and trying to stick to it as best he could. Genji had been right, no matter what the archer had wanted to say in rebuttal. He'd seen far better days, but the anxiety of the situation had left him even more restless than he usually was, and his nights were scarce spent sleeping but rather harrowing over what was to come. He hadn't had a good shave or cut in weeks, but even that could be remedied with simple _effort._ No, Hanzo had simply not bothered to put in that extra effort, too caught up in his own thoughts to care much about how he looked. In hindsight it would have made his arrival much better, where he could have at least pretending to be happier than he was. He could have even faked a smile if he wanted to - Hanzo knew very well how to lie his way out of situations and pretend. He had grown up his entire life doing it.

It had just simply all been too much for him to handle at once, and Hanzo's carefully set up facade broke down the moment the domino effect started. It spiraled beyond his control, but it had leveled out by this point. It would take a good few more minutes, and the others would with no doubt have to wait a bit longer for him to join them... but he figured it worth it to not leave this room looking like he walked through hell and back. Hanzo Shimada had standards, once he bothered to worry about them.

He hadn't realized the severity of his fashion dilemma until he was before the small mirror in his surprisingly spacious bathroom. A scowl made it's way up onto his face, though Hanzo dropped it the moment it made him look even  _worse_ , opting instead for a neutrally grim expression as he pawed at the hair in his bun, trying to get it back into place. It was far beyond minor fixes by this point, and after a few more futile attempts he simply undid the entire do, letting his hair cascade around his shoulders and mask his face. The more he stared at himself, the more he felt like a stranger was looking back at him, and he tucked the hair in his eyes behind his ear to try and find anything familiar in his own gaze. There was nothing but a look of utter defeat and fatigue, and for what seemed like the umpteenth time today the archer released yet another heavy sigh and went back to his bags to get a brush to fix the entire thing with. It wouldn't make him  _feel_ better, but it sure would make him  _look_ better, and that was as good a start as any. It was enough that it was a  _start_ , for the moment he found himself not doing anything... his thoughts were hard to push back, and he didn't look forward to being left alone with them again.

\----

 **"Your brother really is a character, isn't he?"** Jesse's voice was kept carefully neutral as he mused over the pots helping Reinhardt finish today's dinner, but Genji could still see right through it and quirked a brow in the man's direction, taking a brief break from his phone. He _should_ have been helping too... but Hana had informed him of this very cool tactic called "pretending to not hear what your superiors were saying and then acting oblivious to everything that happened afterwards". It helped that Jesse knew of this tactic and was both his and Hana's go-to cover up story. Right now, if anyone asked, Jesse was supposed to say he was doing _very important business work._ Scrolling through social media counted as very important business work.

 **"If you're planning to try and talk to him I say give him at least a week to get settled. You're... pretty much everything my brother would hate,"** he meant it sincerely, only meaning the best, but it seemed like Jesse was not in as serious of a mood as he was, shooting Genji a sly grin before demanding he explain what these oh so intolerable traits of his were.

 **"Well, let's see here,"** the phone was all but forgotten as the cyborg shut it off with a click, leaning back in his chair and raising his feet up to the counter to lounge back as he made a show of staring at the ceiling in deep thought. **"For one, you're loud as all hell. It wouldn't even be that bad if you were loud if you didn't talk much, but you don't ever shut up either. You're not exactly very subtle, and pretty much your very presence in any room is bigger than it should be,"** he hummed back in response, looking down to gauge Jesse's response. He had a hand on his heart, faux offense on his rugged features, but a glint in his eyes that made Genji grin back at him.

 **"Now that's just hurtful. Here I thought you liked me,"** the gunslinger huffed, chuckling the moment that Genji released his own jovial laugh at the words. **" _I_** **do. I said my _brother_ wouldn't. He's got about twenty sticks shoved up his ass as we speak and you'd only add about twenty more." **

Another soft chuckle left Jesse, and he looked back towards the food he was preparing, humming a soft tune under his breath once a comfortable silence settled between him and Genji. He didn't plan on bothering Hanzo much, but he didn't feel like it was right to just leave the man alone to deal with his own problems. He knew very well how awful that could be sometimes, and though his own fears had died down significantly ever since Winston called them all back to try and jump start things once more... sometimes a man just got trapped in his own thoughts with no visible way out. It was true - he was a lively character, someone who didn't do well in silence most of the time and had a rather demanding presence in every room he walked into. It was also true that Hanzo didn't seem to be the kind of guy to want someone like him around... but he didn't see anyone else who might have bothered to try and interact with the newcomer other than his own brother, and by the way that Genji avoided all questions of their brief conversation, he assumed that Hanzo wasn't too comfortable with that either.

He felt like it was his job to try and get the man more comfortable here. Genji was his friend - he wanted his brother to settle in well, and who was Jesse to deny him that when he had every single capability to do so?

The bright chatter and laughing that came from the other side of the kitchen, where Reinhardt and Hana were working on their own part of the meal, caught Jesse's attention and causing the smile that was fast fading from his features to tug right back up into place. A warmth settled within him, a feeling of content that he didn't think he'd feel ever again when it came to Overwatch. The organization had ended on less than happy terms, and for a while Jesse hadn't wanted anything to do with it or it's memories. He abandoned Overwatch, but he never abandoned the idea that it stood for.

It was good to be back with friends and companions. It was small, far smaller than it had ever been in the past, but many of the people who had first started Overwatch were either too old to return or not willing to. He couldn't blame them - it was still a shock to him that Jack was still alive right now after what had happened between him and Reyes. He never talked about it, however, no matter how much anyone tried to egg him on. Some things were better left in the past, it seemed.

 **"Aniki!"** his wandering mind was shoved roughly back into the present at Genji's shout, and he lifted his up questioningly first at the cyborg then at the figure he was looking at with a bright grin on his scarred features. Guess mister Ice Queen hadn't ran away thus far and Genji had managed to somehow wrangle his brother back in. Sure, he still looked like a wild animal and ready to run away at the slightest provocation, but he was... here. Relatively. He was standing at the doorway hesitantly, peering in as if unsure if this was the place he was supposed to be in.

 **"Shimada! Nice of ya to join us! Y'here to help us make dinner, or just to eat? Don't worry - everyone gets their share of food regardless, and everyone has to help eventually,"** he lifted the spatula in greeting, earning him a frown in his direction (though not particularly _at_ him given that Hanzo seemed to be scowling no matter where he looked) and a quick shake of his head before his attention turned to Genji instead. Cold, that one. He could see what Genji meant by Hanzo having twenty sticks shoved up his ass. With a shrug, Jesse simply returned to the pots, letting Hanzo talk it out if he wanted to.

It was only then that he realized the awkward silence that ensued once Hanzo had made his presence known. The subtle chatter of the four people in the kitchen died down completely, only the clatter of utensils against pots reverberating in the quiet. The air seemed strained as well, and Jesse spared a glance towards the newest addition once again, own features falling at the struggle evidently present on Hanzo's features. He just barely made out the hushed murmur that the man offered to them, **"I'll just excuse myself."**

A distressed sigh sounded beside him, and Jesse offered Genji a reassuring smile. **"Everyone will come around eventually. Trust me,"** he offered, unsure of whether or not he truly believed in that himself.

**"I hope."**

The white noise from the other side of the room promptly returned, giggles and louder laughs breaking through occasionally. With how things were going... he couldn't see how Hanzo had any right to feel comfortable.

\-----

It seemed like he had found his way into the right place, after about five minutes of pointless wandering. It gave him more bearings as to where everything was, but not much more than that. It brought very little comfort to know that every room he made his way into instantly turned into uncomfortable silence. It followed him wherever he went, and though his mind tried to supply him with Genji's hopeful words... Hanzo couldn't help but doubt.

He couldn't help but look at himself the same way they all did. He couldn't help but stare at Genji's scarred features and remind himself of why he was here. 

A shuddering breath escaped the archer as he closed the door behind him, the click soon echoed by the return of jovial voices on the other side. Hanzo hovered there for a few seconds, though eventually he made up his mind to try and find something else to do other than wallow and sulk. It was never healthy for him to stray too far into his head.

Back to his room it was, then. It was already proving to be a safe haven in these troubled times, though it admittedly needed remodeling. 

\-----

There was a sudden knock on his door, and Hanzo had half a mind to ignore it and remain in solitude and peace. But the peace turned out to not be that peaceful, and the methodical polishing of his bow eventually gave way into a rhythm that allowed Hanzo to fall into his thoughts. Therefore he stood up, making his way towards the other side of the room, pointedly ignoring the still unpacked bag on his way there. 

He wasn't sure who or what he was expecting, but it surely wasn't the man in the cowboy hat with a plate of steak in one hand and lemonade in the other. The shock must have shown on his face, for Jesse did what he could only assume was a little salute in apology with the glass. 

 **"Brought'cha food,"** the man started, and though Hanzo was content to leave it at that the other seemed to have other thoughts. As Hanzo reached forward to take the meal, Jesse promptly leaned back to keep it out of his reach, to the shorter man's distaste. 

 **"Genji told me that ya probably wouldn't be comin' back to eat with all the others. He didn't want ya t'starve so I offered to bring it down for ya instead,"** Jesse offered, and Hanzo simply stared at him blankly with the best "just give me my food already" face he could muster. A stifled sigh signaled his food being passed over, and Hanzo nodded once in thanks before aiming to close the door.

Except when he tried, a foot mysteriously found its way into the crack, and a muffled curse resounded in the otherwise quiet hallway.

 **" _What_?"** Hanzo snapped, throwing the door open with a scowl, staring at a man who looked like he was trying not to cry from the pain. Hanzo might have tried to slam the door as hard as he could to show that he wanted to be left alone. He didn't know a foot would find it's way between that.

 **"Darlin' if I knew any better I'd think you wanted t'kill me,"** Jesse wheezed out, and Hanzo concluded that he truly was on the verge of tears. 

The words didn't sit well with the archer at all. The sour expression only hardened, entire demeanor radiating nothing but ice. Jesse had the decency to at least look guilty about it after catching on to his own implied meaning, and another quieter curse escaped him. 

 **"Shit... sorry, I didn't mean it like that,"** Jesse breathed out, running a hand through his hair and letting out a long breath, carefully avoiding Hanzo's glare. Seeing as the man wasn't going to even glance in his direction, the floor seemingly much more interesting, Hanzo opted to instead glare at his shoe, which he as still obnoxiously stuck between the one thing that could peacefully end this conversation with no casualties. 

 **"If you want something, just say it. Then please leave me be,"** his low murmur must have startled Jesse out of his thoughts, for the man looked up in surprise at Hanzo, as if just realizing he was still there and the situation was still very much real. The moment his eyes locked onto Hanzo's own, however, he looked away just as quickly and released an awkward chuckle.

 **"I... shit, I don't really know. Came here thinkin' I'd have some uplifting speech ready to share to boost your morals... and now my head is blank and I've got nothing,"** another laugh, and Hanzo felt his brow quirk, curious despite his better judgement. The man was still refusing to look at him, however, and it did little to calm Hanzo down. Was the floor really so interesting? And wasn't he done yet? How much more could he cram into the silence that Hanzo desperately wished for?

 **"Guess what I'm tryin'a say is... take things slow, yeah? Get comfortable however you see fit, and whenever you're ready to crawl out of your safe space... don't wanna be sappy, but you can always come be friends with me,"** his eyes finally shifted back to Hanzo's own, and the genuine care so plainly laid out for him to see was surprising. He fought for control over his vocabulary, his mind unable to come up with any smart reply or even a gracious acceptance. He stood, dumbfounded, until an awkward silence stretched between them and Jesse cleared his throat.

The sound effectively snapped Hanzo out of his shock, and though confusion still remained about the entire prospect... he nodded slowly in thanks, receiving one in turn. No more words were exchanged between them, and Hanzo quietly shut the door behind him with his hip, making his way towards his bed with the meal, mind still working over the scene and unable to pick a concrete feeling to attatch to it.

\-----

The sound of happy chatter and muffled laughs did wonders to wipe away whatever feelings had infected him the moment that Hanzo Shimada had decided to open his door and accept the food. He didn't know what those feelings were, though he knew well enough that it was all a jumbled mess no matter which way you looked at it. Confusion was the most prominent feeling up there. Confusion and pity, though he tried to push the latter down as much as possible. Hanzo didn't need anyone feeling sorry for him. The faster everyone got over it and started treating him like an equal and not someone to alienate, the better.

So he was glad that all those feelings were forgotten the moment he stepped through the door and was met by a room full of good smells and happy people. A bright grin found its way onto his own rugged features, the atmosphere contagious in all the good ways. The old soldiers were sitting at their own table, while the younger ones had their own designated place to eat. That consisted of Genji, Hana, Lena and himself. A small table, but a table nevertheless. He couldn't help but hope it would fill up soon.

 **"Jesse! How did it go? Mr."I-Have-Twenty-Sticks-In-My-Ass" give you a hard time?"** Hana's cheerful call summoned Jesse over with a grin as he ruffled her hair, earning a yowl of protest from the youth. 

Before she could try and reach for any part of him, Jesse slipped in next to Lena, who waved jovially at him with a fork, manners keeping her from talking with a mouthful of potatoes. 

 **"I'm glad to say that I only received one injury from our beloved guest, though I'll have to make sure nothing is broken later with Angie. He sure has an attitude, that one,"** Jesse responded with a chuckle, Hana's eyes lighting up at the prospect. The little devil had way too much fun with him.

 **"He means well, don't worry. He just doesn't get emotions very well,"** Genji offered, though he had his own subtle knowing smirk on his lips.

 **"Or the meaning of gently closing doors,"** the gunslinger mumbled quietly under his breath, rubbing at his still aching foot with a wince. Hopefully no new missions would come up any time soon. He didn't want to go out not being his best.

A sharp bark of a laugh escaped Genji at the realization that Jesse had tried to stick some part of him between a door that was rapidly closing, earning him a hurt look from Jesse.

 **"Hey now, don't make fun of a man for wanting to say something and not trusting the door to open a second time!"** Genji said nothing in turn, still too busy giggling and trying not to choke on the food that had already been in his mouth before the revelation.

 **"What are you going to explain to Angela once she asks what happened, though? 'Oh I just felt it was appropriate to stick one of my appendages into the crack between a door in hopes it would miraculously not hurt?'"** Hana responded with an exasperated lift of her hands towards his general direction.  

 **"It was my leg, and as a matter of fact yes. That is exactly what I'm going to say,"** he retorted with a huff, only to have whatever sharp comeback he planned to shoot at her die on his tongue when a familiar voice spoke up from nearby.

 **"You do realize we are sitting right next to each other, right Jesse? Everyone can hear what you're saying and as a doctor I'm embarrassed for you,"** Angela's voice was equally as amused and teasing as everyone else's, and a low grown punctuated the pause between his bites of food.

**"Aw, Angie. Not you too! Let's not turn this into one of our famous 'let's see how much we can make fun of Jesse' sessions. My prides wounded enough as it is,"**

More laughter resounded throughout the room, and after a brief glance from Angela and her determining he'd live, Hanzo seemed all but forgotten. Everyone was back to talking about whatever they had been talking about before Jesse arrived, and the newcomer wasn't mentioned even once throughout the rest of the meal.

Not even he tried to bring the older man up, however guilty he felt about it. Not even a whole day in and Hanzo was the new unspoken word. If he didn't need to be mentioned, no one was willing to mention him. 

Despite the light atmosphere, Jesse spent a large portion of his own meal brooding that day.

**Author's Note:**

> This idea has been floating around in my head for a while, and it is my first fic so we'll see where it goes! I always imagined that Jesse/Hanzo's relationship wouldn't be like most fics present it, with a grumpy Handsoap wanting nothing to do with Jesse and a whole bunch of flirting because one man was like 'look this guy is hot I'm going to fuck him.' So this fic spiraled from my idea that at first it would start out as a friendship where they get to bond over their common feelings and experiences, and then eventually lead to something else. Keep in mind that I do not speak any other languages so google translate is a good friend.


End file.
